You can’t imagine it, the singer says. At that moment readying for her comeback record in nearly a decade, blissfully happy with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the mother of a toddler after dealing with conception issues for ten years, riding high. Suddenly in March she was diagnosed with cancer in her breast.
The artist, real name J. Cornish, is known for being brutally honest. The album, the provocatively titled album, was meant as an transparent story, dealing with every moment of pain she’d faced since she last recorded music (endometriosis, losing a baby, unsuccessful partnerships, gaslighting, suicidal thoughts) with typical candour. The lead track, her single No Secrets, was released in April. But by then there existed a huge secret. Her diagnosis. Later follow-up track, her song Living My Best Life, came out in May and the artist was giving interviews about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while all the while living with her cancer. Four weeks after she disclosed her condition, and in early July she underwent breast removal surgery.
She gives me her best “Are you kidding?” expression. “I put out with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every interview, and they’re, like, ‘Any updates?’ and I answer, ‘Well, not much…’” she has just had to postpone shows because she’s still waiting for reconstructive surgery.
We’re at a photography studio in the capital. She is wearing a beige fake-leather jacket, blue jeans with ornate white designs, off-white boots and large glasses. Picture motorcycle style meets 70s singer aesthetic. “I feel like I’m in the 70s and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” Easy Rider, I say, thinking of the picture. “I was nicknamed that in school!” She grins. She is fast-thinking, unfiltered and filter-free. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is planning to attempt her standup debut next year. “I enjoy humor. When performing I often tease the crowd.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
The artist was getting ready for an slot at the Baftas when she found a lump. “I quickly sought to get it checked, had an test, and they said, ‘It seems benign; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I insisted, ‘Yet I sense it. I have arm pain and numbness in my fingers whenever I rise.’ And they suggested, ‘Well, let’s just do a biopsy?’ The date was March 28, the following my birthday.” It was a Friday. The doctor told her if it was serious she’d reach out on the start of the week. By then the singer had convinced herself it was fine. The way she explains it, it was inopportune to receive a diagnosis when she had so much on.
“It was a fortnight prior from launching this thing after eight years without an album and an extended break. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I thought, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I jump on the Zoom expecting it’s all going to be fine, and she goes, ‘Are you sitting down?.’ The solemn tone? And she reveals, ‘I regret to inform you but your test results have indicated high-grade cancer cells.’” What was your reaction? “I replied, ‘That’s unfortunate. The timing is terrible.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am
She found the surgery terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. You’re escorted. In urgent cases you go on a gurney, but then I just marched with a hospital gown and my backside out. It felt surreal.” But, she adds, she’s been lucky. Without chemo or radio, just the surgery. “Cancer is awful, but however Thank fuck I found it early. I had the mastectomy a few months back and my right breast now looks like a odd shape.” Another grin. “The nipple was preserved.”
The subsequent surgery is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “asymmetrical. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. So inconsiderate! I reflected, no need to bully me, I’m already having a difficult experience. How offensive! Amusingly I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be flawless. My plans were disrupted.”
Previous Struggles
She is accustomed to medical issues. She thinks her attitude toward illness has been so optimistic because she’s experienced in health crises. Frequently they align with professional successes, serving as a tap on the shoulder, or blow, to make her recall not to take anything for granted. “Frankly, I feel fate says, ‘Enjoying yourself? Take a seat.’ From a young age, it has often paired with high points for me; something severe or obscure has happened to my health.”
She takes me back to her youth, already making her debut starring in the stage in Whistle Down the Wind (she was selected at the age of nine). That’s when she was told about the cardiac issue a syndrome, which can cause a tachycardia as well as dizziness and irregular beats. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an intravenous line, and being readmitted at night.” She fast-forwards six years, and young Jessica has entered the trio the group while studying at the performing arts school. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was planning to release songs in the year 2020 I had a car crash and my voice box shifted and I lost my voice for a twelve months.”
Oi, I say, hold on, I can’t keep up. A stroke so young? She nods|agrees
